Listening to Khaabon Ke Parindey from ZNMD
along with hot cup of coffee and view of dripping raining from window.

Relationships. They are the craziest to understand and yet most amazing to be a part of life. It’s an awesome feeling when you are in the right kind of relationship. Not just with your partner but it applies to friendships, parenthood and all other walks of life too. Each and every one of these relationships are built out of love of some kind or the other. 

But, the very crucial start, the very beginning of these relationships are from you. You are at the centre of your world. This applies to each and every one of us, irrespective of all the boundaries we think in our mind. You, yourself are the very first variable in your relationship equation. So how do you build deep and meaningful relationships, friendships or whatever you would like to call it, with all people around you? 

The answer is simple – Love yourself first. 

But hey man, what do you mean by love yourself first. We all do love ourselves. Everyone loves themselves.” If that’s the first thought which crossed your mind too, welcome to the club. We’ve to learn to love ourselves together. I’m with you in this journey of self-discovery. Look, loving yourself is a very vast concept, simplifying it is not easy. 

But let’s try. So, consider this, consider you have a friend who is just like you or is your twin, or an exact copy of you (for extra visualisation, go stand in front of the mirror, I do it sometimes). Now, you are meeting this friend of yours after a long time. Try to have a conversation with him, ask something and answer it yourself. It’ll definitely sound stupid at first but just ride along with me here. So have a small chit-chat for a couple of mins. Just before you are getting done, before that, just say to him, “All you’ve done so far is exactly how it was supposed to be, you’ve done great and came a long way, I am proud of what you’ve become today”. Then move on.  

This small exercise is called “self-talk” and what you did there at the end is a positivity closure at end of it. Think about it, how often have you actually, whole-heartedly appreciated yourself? How many times have you said words like, “fuck my life”, “why always me?” Or “what did I do wrong?” I guess so many times that you can’t count. Or maybe some less. But how many times have you actually, said positive things to yourself? I bet it would be not over your fingers. But, it’s never too late.

You can start today itself. Keep in mind you, as a person are amazing, it’s just that there has been a lot of scarcity of appreciation or the kind of love that you crave from someone, but if you are the one who pats on your back, you are the one who appreciates yourself for every little accomplishment, or something as small as surviving a bad day, guess at end of this self-talk or whatever you call this exercise, who’s going to be happy and content?
You! my friend, you! The centre of the universe, or maybe multiverse, whatever! Let’s science later on it. 

Woah, it’s a pretty long piece I guess, but it’s not over yet, not only positive self-talk but there are many more ways to love yourself, and we’ll get along on them too, stay tuned on this space. With the pandemic in the world and a lot and lot going around in every one of our lives, let’s give some time to ourselves and lets –

F.L.Y. ( first love yourself)

Categories: Relationships

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